My Scrambled Thoughts...

I have been debating whether or not to write this and I finally decided that I will.

I have been having a hard time trying to figure out where I fit in. Like, when I went to Washington for my graduation party I didn't feel like I fit in in Washington anymore. Those peoples lives have moved on and I'm not apart of it anymore. As much as it pains me that I'm no longer apart of any of that I just have to get over it. People are going to live their lives even if I'm not there being apart of it.
But I also don't feel like I fit in in Ohio yet. I'm in that awkward stage. You know that stage. Like if you moved churches and you still talked with your friends from the other church and were trying to make friends at the new church but slowly you were losing touch with the old friends. Then you were invited somewhere with the old church! You were super excited but then you had no idea what you were doing with those people cause you had absolutely no idea what they have been doing for the past few months.
Those are some awkward times.
But then you go somewhere with a group from the new church and you again have absolutely no idea what you are doing there because you haven't been in their lives for very long so you don't get any of the inside jokes that they tell. And you can't be apart of the conversation because you have no idea what they are talking about. Later on in the night you find yourself alone, standing awkwardly by yourself, wondering what you are doing there.
Yes, that is how I have been feeling lately.
It's just I would like to fit in and have the kind of friends here in Ohio that I had in Washington. But I don't really think that's going to happen. I'm going to loose touch with a lot of the students here because when this fall comes around I'll not be going to youth group anymore because I'm a graduate and I have to grow up.

The more I write and basically complain about this chapter of my life. I am realizing that I am not trusting in the Lord at all!! It seems like I have been trying so hard to fit in that I forgot that the Lord has me in HIS perfect plan. I will find where I "fit in" eventually; but right now all I need to "worry" about is how my relationship with the Lord is. Am I doing everything to bring Him glory? By this blog post I would say I have not been doing that.

The Bible verse that has been popping into my head recently when I get like this has been:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. - Proverbs 3:5
I need to trust in Him.