surgery

well things certainly have happened in my life since i last blogged. i think i will begin with my Pop-o (Grandpa).

my Pop-o had a brain surgery last monday, he was home by thursday. the day of his surgery was a stressful day. i had a dream the night before his surgery of what could go wrong durning it. this is what i had dreamt; the surgery was going great and then the doctors hand slipped and cut one of his major veins or something. also that after the surgery was over and he was in the recovery room, awake and couldn't remember who i was. those were my fears that day. but none of those things happened of course. this is how it happened. we (meaning my mom, caroline and me) arrived at the hospital. my Pop-o had already been in his surgery for almost an hour and the doctor said that the surgery would take about 2 hours, that was around 1:30pm. the doctor didn't end up coming out until 5:45ish. my dreams came into my mind while i was waiting. But when it passed 3 hours that he had been in there, i thought to myself, "why am i worrying? he is in the Lord's hands right now and if the Lord decides to take him today then so be it. he will be with the Lord." now do not think that i don't care about my Pop-o. i do very much, but i needed to trust in the Lord with that and that is what i did.
my Pop-o's surgery went fine, he also remembered my name.

My paper that convicted me

This is more towards girls then guys, but if you would like to read it then go head.

Would you like and older sister or a younger sister? if you already have sisters older, younger or maybe both and don't really like them, you should rethink that; i should know i have three older sisters and one younger sister. your sisters are some of the best friends you'll ever have.
Older sisters are great to have because then you can borrow their clothes, their make-up, you can basically use any of their stuff. those are not the main reasons why having older sisters is great. you can share you secret thoughts with them. for example, you could tell them who you have a crush on, how your walk with the Lord is, or you could talk with them about what you are struggling with and ask them to keep you accountable and pray for you. you really need to show your sisters respect. now, i'm not just talking about older sisters i'm talking about younger sisters as well.
Younger sisters can be a pain at times. they follow you around where ever you go, and they do everything you do. but that should just be showing you how much they want to be like you. think about when you young and how you were your older sister's shadow. Remember how they would just tell you to go away but you never did because you loved them? it is just the same as with your younger sister as it was when you were young. little sisters are so much fun to have because if they do whatever you do and you are showing her a godly example for them just think about what they will do when they get older, and maybe they have a younger sister also that is in their shadow. they will handle it with a godly attitude because you set a godly example for them to follow.
You will always have friends that will come and go in your life. But your sisters will be your best friend for their entire lives. They will always be there for you. Sisters truly are your best friends for life.

just a quick little note.

i am sorry that i haven't written in awhile. there's just no good things that are popping into my brain. but i am about to read Ruth so maybe i will get inspired by something in there and will write to y'all about what i though.

it is really windy at my house right now and i wanted really badly to drive to church tonight. but i'm not so sure if i wish to drive in this crazy wind. i guess if i do then i'll just need to trust the Lord to keep my family and myself safe.

driving

so i did get my permit even though it was snowing like crazy on monday. my dad did not want me to have to drive on 522 for my first drive so he stopped in town and then said i was driving the rest of the way home. i was so excited to drive. but in my excitedness and wanting to show off to my dad that i do know how to drive, i put the car into drive and not reverse and slowly took my foot off the brake and learned that i was in drive and not in reverse. my dad has been laughing about that since. but over all he said that i did a good job, i just need to learn to go a little faster. then yesterday i drove with my mom. she made me drive on hwy2 i was scared but those verse stayed in my head and i asked the Lord to help me make wise choices and i did alright. my mom and my sister Caroline both said for my second time driving on a public road i did good. now coming from one of my sister that is great! oh, and i also swerved to miss a bird, actually i would have hit two birds if they would not have flown away. but i knew that i couldn't so i didn't and my mom was proud of me. so over all i'm doing good!!

fifteen and a half

so i am getting my permit tomorrow. it is crazy! i don't feel like i should get my permit, i feel to young. but i am!! I am hoping that i don't have to drive from Everett to Monroe, or have to drive on 522 for my first drive. i will be scared out of my mind if i have to drive on one of those roads.
but a verse that keeps on coming to my mind and that is Psalm 46:1-2 God is my refuge and God is my strength, in every present help in trouble. therefore i will not fear though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the misted of the sea.
if we are in Christ than He will be our refuge and strength where ever we go. God is with us always. isn't that comforting to you. i know it is to me. i will never be alone.
another verse that comes to mind is Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make you paths straight.
we are to trust in the Lord whatever our circumstance is. when i am scared, i am not trusting in the Lord with all of my heart. i thought that that was really convicting.
if you would like to you could pray for me. that i would listen to instructions while driving, trust in the Lord that i won't crash, and also that i won't swerve to not hit a bird.
Thank you.

Talking

so tonight i shared in front of One28. i dislike to speak in front of people. i was extremely nervous. when i am nervous i ramble and lose my train of thought and say things that don't even make sense, it is bad. but when i was thinking about it on my way home it boils down to not trusting the Lord. i need to trust in the Lord to give me the right words to speak and to calm my nervous. i usually think about what people are thinking of me and that is not glorifying the Lord. i need to be thinking about the Lord at all times and not of myself. that is called being selfish.
(sorry that i have not been posting a lot, but nothing has come to mind).
those of you who have jobs, you should love them. i wish i had a job so bad, but i am to young to have a job. do not take your job for granted. so many people in this world don't have a job and wish they did. you can also witness to your co-works and customers, that is such a privilege to do that. if you are thinking that i will think differently when i have a job, i don't think i will. with the Lord you can do all things. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. that is so true. all we need to do is ask. but when we ask we can not doubt Him. that would not be the right heart attitude. we need to make sure how we ask is with the right heart attitude.

Life

i became a christian a little over a year ago in november of 2007. it was a wednesday and my mom and i had just finished talking about my salvation and i came to the conclusion that i was not a christian. i went back to what i was doing before my mom and i our talk, that was wedding. i took the little fork thingy and started to whack it at the weeds because of how angry i was. i was mad at my mom and at myself. why i was mad with my mom is because she had uncovered my secret of my heart. i was mad at myself for not storming out of that room when she started to talk about my heart. i am so glad that i didn't. anyway, while i was beating the ground i started to cry, i started to bawl. i finally realized that i was a wretched sinner and i needed the Lord to save me and come into my heart, and change the way i acted, and act more like him. so that wednesday, november ?, 2007 i became a christian.
let me take you back to how i acted before i got saved. i was three when i said the prayer and told everyone that i was a christian. i didn't even know what a christian was at that age. anyway, i was saying that i was a christian and my mom would always ask me how my bible reading was going. i would say good. she would then ask me, "what did you learn?" i would say, "i'll be right back." i would run up stairs open my bible for the first time that day, scan through a passage and then go and tell her what i learned.
Also, whenever i would get frustrated with my sisters (Caroline) my mom would always, always say that whatever is in my heart will come out. i got mad that she would say that so i decided to just act like i was nice but really i was lashing out inside. i am so thankful for a mom that confronts me about my sin. she could always tell that i was seething inside. a verse that my mom had made me say when i was younger and still reminds me of it. Philippians 4:4 rejoice in Lord always; again i say rejoice. when i was young i hated that verse, but now it is one of my favorites.
i most likely would not be where i am with my walk with the Lord had i not come to Grace. Grace has taught me so much. the pastor's teach the word, and the people keep me accountable. my relationship became more hot after snow retreat. so now we are in the present. i didn't mean to come back so soon, but it happened. lets go back, where should i start? oh, i know.
Sean, Bekah Wentling, Grant, Becca Barnts, Charissa, Mr. and Mrs. Weinberg, and Sarah Zimmer, all of these people have been helping me with my walk with the Lord. ( my family too, but i was only saying people that are at my church). I never have had people, who were not in my family, keep me accountable, ask me about my bible reading, what i thought about the sermon. it encourages me so much when people do that. Thank you all for helping me with my walk. i really do appreciate it.